Going out for the night

“People don’t seem to go out very much now, when we were young, we went out every weekend,” commented my aunt.

Even if there were not the present raft of restrictions, the comment would probably be an accurate reflection of Twenty-First Century social life. Pubs would not have been closing down at the rate of fifty a week if there were millions of young people going out for the evening.

“We used to cycle everywhere, into Langport, or to Somerton, in our dresses,” added my mother.

“In flat shoes?” asked my sister.

“No, we hadn’t time for that, in our heels.”

“Stilettos?”

“Of course.”

“I met your Dad at the Red Lion in Somerton. I didn’t give him my number, you must have done,” my mother looked at her sister.”

“If I did, I don’t remember,” my aunt responded.

Recalling a dance sixty-five years ago would be a challenge. Recalling the telephone number of my grandparents’ farmhouse would not have been a challenge for anyone, Long Sutton 217. I can still hear my grandmother’s voice stating the number slowly and clearly as she held the black Bakelite receiver to her ear.

“Do you remember the night we got attacked on the way home?”

Did people really get attacked in rural Somerset of the 1950s?

“We were on the way home from Somerton on our bicycles and there was a group of men who stopped us. One of them grabbed me around the waist and tried to pull me in through a gate of a field.” The story was one my mother had not mentioned before.

“I took off my stiletto and hit him on the head with the heel. They were so drunk, we were able to escape from them,” my aunt declared

“We stopped the first car that came along. It was a police car. The men shouted that they were our boyfriends and we told the police that the men were no such thing and that all that we wanted was to get home safely.”

Perhaps the story was not one that was shared until years afterward. It is hard to imagine my grandfather would have allowed two of his daughters to go to dances where they might encounter such danger. It is also difficult to imagine he would not have sought out those responsible.

Perhaps there are many reasons why young people do not go out as often as their predecessors, but being casually attacked is probably not a risk they often face.

 

 

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Radical grannies

Renewing my ancestry subscription after a lapse of some years, I spent the afternoon researching my grandparents. As I did so, I recalled that I had held for years held completely wrong perceptions of one of my grandmothers.

Living in the London suburb of Chiswick in a pleasant semi-detached house, my paternal grandmother would never have presented an image of political radicalism. Her father had been a milkman, a soldier badly injured in Flanders. Perhaps the treatment of the returning servicemen after the Great War had influenced her. Perhaps her political views had been influenced by her friendship with Hannie Collins, sister of Irish republican leader Michael Collins, with whom she worked in the post office savings bank. Perhaps her views were simply those of someone who reflected on the gross injustices of British society in the 1930s. A non-drinker, my grandmother admitted to having been drunk once: at an election victory in 1945 when the Labour Party had taken control of the local council. My grandmother’s political hero was well to the left of the post-war government, she would talk with fondness of hearing Jimmy Maxton speaking at open air meetings.

For years, I believed that the leftward leanings of my paternal grandmother were counter-balanced by the rightward leanings of my maternal grandmother. A farmer’s wife, daughter of a soldier, educated in a local convent, spending time in service, my grandmother seemed the model of rural conservatism.

I was often told of the voting pact between my grandparents – neither of them went to the polling station because they believed that the vote of one would cancel out the vote of the other. It was a pact about which I knew from teenage years more than forty years ago. It seemed logical, I assumed my grandfather to be a supporter of the Liberal Party and my grandmother to be Tory.

My perception was challenged by mother’s recollection of her uncle and his support of the Labour Party. “It came from my grandmother, she canvassed for the Labour Party when they won the election in Taunton in 1950.”

This seemed such an unlikely thought that I asked for clarification. “My great grandmother was a Labour Party member?”

”Of course,” she said, “that’s why Nan would have voted Labour – if she had voted.”

Decades of assumptions had been challenged. “Nan supported the Labour Party?”

”Yes, what did you think?”

I had to admit that I had always assumed my grandmother to be Conservative and my grandfather to be Liberal.

It seems odd to imagine that my great grandmother had been out knocking on doors and handing out leaflets, odd to imagine her daughter holding onto those principles in the heart of a Tory shire. Odd to imagine unlikely socialists on both sides of the family.

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Not playing Donkey Kong

It was forty years ago today, on 9th July 1981, that Nintendo launched Donkey Kong in Japan. Unlikely now to impress anyone other than retro enthusiasts, it was a major step forward in games technology. Not that I would encounter it for another three or four years when the children at the local rectory were bought their first electronic games and would find my attempts at the game an occasion for raucous laughter and mockery

In 1977, four years before the launch of Donkey Kong, my first encounter with electronic games was the game where you played table tennis with two controllers connected to your television, which you could obtain cheap with vouchers from Corn Flakes boxes. It came out when I was on Dartmoor at boarding school. At first, there was great competition among the boys to play the game, but after a while it seemed slightly absurd to try to play table tennis with an electronic controller, when it was much more fun playing with a table tennis bat in the games room.

In 1978, Space Invaders was launched. If there was a home version, I never saw it. The Space Invaders machines were to be found in pubs, and (in my case) in student halls of residence. The technology was basic, the aliens moving sideways in rows and then dropping to the next row when reaching the edge of the screen.

Donkey Kong seems an extraordinary piece of progress in the three years between 1978 and 1981.  The graphics, the interactivity, the complexity, all made machines like Space Invaders seem very basic.

Donkey Kong was my last attempt at playing electronic games. In the mid 1990s, my children would have had Gameboy and the like, but There was no prospect that the Super Mario brothers would ever rescue the princess under my guidance.

Once the children had gone beyond the age of playing Gameboy, electronic games disappeared from the household. There was still an online role-playing game played by the older of the offspring that demanded a few dollars a month, but it was not about the frantic pressing of buttons in order to zap virtual enemies.

Perhaps society would have been better served if there had been no progress beyond Donkey Kong, because there is something slightly troubling in the way that electronic games have extended their grip into the lives of adults. People, mostly men, can spend hours on Play Stations, X Boxes and other platforms.

People who in former generations would have gone to the pub and played darts and snooker and pool with their mates, or would have done DIY stuff in their houses, or would have worked in their gardens, now sit in front of a screen pressing buttons, in a quest for what?

The advertisements for the games can be quite bizarre; one for a war game suggested it demanded particular personal qualities to play it.

What seems to have happened is that real living came to be replaced by a virtual existence, that people who might have been out playing real soccer became content with a version on a screen; that men who in former generations might have been fighting actual wars, came to think that an electronic simulation of gore and blood and death and slaughter was somehow a worthwhile leisure activity; that reality became replaced by something virtual, something very far from reality.

Donkey Kong seems a first step in a downward process.

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Going to the seaside with Sid

Even in normal years, many of the children in school are from families who could not afford a holiday. This year, the massive hike in the cost of holiday accommodation will mean many more will not have a holiday.

Perhaps a Sid is needed.

Sid used to organize outings. He lived in our village, where there was no public transport, but never learned to drive, relying on a workmate for the daily journey to the shoe factory in which they worked. Perhaps it was the lack of a car that prompted him, though if that was the whole explanation he might just have planned trips for his own family; perhaps he was an innately sociable person. Sid organized day trips to West Country destinations. There must have been a few dozen people who joined him, a not inconsiderable proportion of a small rural community.

The outings were usually to seaside towns, places where one might hire a deck chair for the day to sit on the promenade or the beach; places where shops were filled with things one would never find in local shops; places where cafes serving fish and chips with peas provided strong tea in aluminium pots and bread and butter on side plates. They were outings where people boarded the bus in the morning with greetings and laughter and left the bus at the end of the day tired and contented.

Looking back to days over fifty years ago, there is a danger of conflating memories of Sid’s outings with the annual “Sunday School” outing to Weymouth (there was no requirement of attending Sunday School, otherwise I would never have gone), but memories linger of a trip to Exmoor or Minehead or North Devon, somewhere west of Taunton, anyway, where the bus stopped at a pub on the return journey and where a fourteen year old boy was allowed a glass of shandy.

Such outings seem to have been a well established part of local culture. My mother recalls the post-war years when my grandfather, a small farmer, could never have afforded a family holiday, but would book excursions with Sandford’s Coaches and he and my grandmother and the family of seven would go off for the day. Riding on the buses and travelling on the roads of Somerset in those times, the journeys would hardly have been to distant places, but, seventy odd years later, they are remembered with affection.

If someone like Sid put up a notice today that there would be a coach outing to the seaside, how many signatures would there be? A handful? None at all? Who would want to travel by coach to a seaside town when a car journey would be so much simpler?

Yet there was something about Sid’s outings that has been mostly lost in our times, that community bond, that sense of enjoyment of something to be shared, that sense of equality and common purpose that only a bus journey can bring. It’s that stuff about gaining the world and losing your soul, but that’s now mostly as old fashioned as the coaches that carried us to the seaside.

Lyons Tea

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Selfie narcissists

The BBC report that a child was placed on a railway track for the parent to take a “selfie,” represents a further logical step in the obsession of many people with themselves.

The emergence of the obsession was most forcibly brought home while sitting in Liverpool Airport one evening five years ago.

A man sat alone in the departure lounge, his gaze constantly shifted between checking his phone and surveying those sat around him. Probably in his late thirties, he had a shaved head and a pointed beard and wore a green tee shirt and baggy shorts. Pausing in his looks around, he lifted his phone and took a picture of himself. It must not have been satisfactory, for he repeated the process, then tapped the screen, presumably sending the image to some recipient he judged would be happy to receive it.

Hardly twenty minutes later, a queue of people stood on the tarmac waiting to board the 75 minute flight to Dublin. As the line paused, the man took out his phone and took another picture of himself, then another and another. He scrolled through the three images, picked one and sent it. Perhaps the person who had received the photo from inside the departure lounge would be pleased to now receive a picture taken outside the departure lounge, perhaps the different light would bring out different qualities in the subject.

The plane took off. The cabin lights were still dim, the seatbelt lights were still illuminated, and the aircraft still climbing, when the man stood up. A member of the cabin staff rushed down the aisle to find out the problem, he wanted to change seats. He was asked to resume his seat. The young couple sat beside him looked bemused.

He sat still for a while, long enough for the trolley to be in the aisle, when he got up and pushed his way past the staff. He walked down the plane and found an empty seat, pushing his way by the cabin crew, he returned to his original seat to collect his laptop, saying he would need to come back later as his bag was in the overhead locker above where he had been sitting.

The man seemed to epitomise the narcissism that seems to have seized contemporary Western societies, a complete obsession with self and a casual disregard for others.

The man was not young, nor with his squat, overweight figure was he someone from whom many people would have wished to receive a so-called “selfie”, yet he seemed to regard every circumstance as an opportunity to further photograph himself. Whatever the safety rules of the airline, the man believed his wish for a different seat took priority, even though there was no obvious reason for him wanting to change. However much inconvenience he might cause, he had a right to have what he wanted.

Descending to the point where individual responsibility is a distant second to individual rights, and where self takes priority over everything else, a society becomes unsustainable and must change to survive. In a decade or so, when our society has moved on from the infantile self-obsession that is expressed in activities such as taking selfies on railway tracks, there will be a whole generation of unhappy people.

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