The efficacy of nonsense

Each summer, we would go to the Stade Dauger in Bayonne to watch Aviron Bayonnais, the local rugby club, play a match. Not once did we manage to find the way to the ground without getting lost. Each time we got lost, I would say it was because the stadium had moved.

Of course, the stadium had not moved. Rugby grounds do not take to the air at a whim and land elsewhere in a city. However, in the nonsensical assertion there was humour that dissipated the annoyance at yet again taking twice as long to reach the ground as the SatNav had suggested.

Myths have always been helpful in dealing with things that would otherwise be an aggravation.

Growing up in sight of Glastonbury Tor, we grew up with the tales of King Arthur (and lots of other far more absurd fabrications). Merlin the wizard became a friendly figure whom we might conjure in our imaginations. (Over indulgence in cider had led to some local gentlemen claiming to have met him)

Decades after we first heard those stories, my middle sister and I still seek the assistance of the wily magician. Intractable problems might prompt the suggestion that Merlin would have a solution and an inquiry as to whether he had been seen recently in the neighbourhood. A recent appeal from my sister prompted me to reply that he had been seen wandering around Turn Hill, smoking a pipe and looking for spring flowers.

Of course, it was nonsense, but it was useful nonsense. We could smile at the grey robed, long-bearded, wonder-worker walking the roads around High Ham. It distracted us from the aggravation that had prompted the request.

In childhood days, the myths had a more powerful hold. I remember believing that Arthur and the knights of the Round Table were buried beneath Cadbury Castle and being very disappointed when an archaeological dig that was taking place on the ancient site did not reveal any evidence of the heroes of legend.

Of course, had the archaeologists excavating an Iron Age site discovered the remains of Arthur and his men, their legendary power would have been destroyed. Dead men could not ride forth in England’s hour of need.

Imaginary figures have far more power than corporeal ones. Merlin in imagination can always be summoned. The irritations of daily life can be attributed to the evil Morgan Le Fay and the wizard can be called upon to overcome them.

Of course, it is a piece of fantasy, but it is efficacious in lifting the spirits.

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Sixty years in a wig

The photograph is my favourite from my childhood. It dates from perhaps the spring or summer of 1963. It is taken beside the corrugated iron door of the shed that was used as a garage for cars on the home farm in Pibsbury, the yard being needed to be clear for agricultural vehicles.

Sixty years later, the garage still stands there, still has corrugated iron doors, and is still used each day. Seeing it each time I return to the farm creates a sense of continuity,

The photograph shows a small boy, two or three years old, dressed in a pullover and tartan trousers and wearing the most outlandish wig, giving him a hairstyle that would compete with that of Albert Einstein on a bad hair day.

The wig is hardly something one would expect to find on a small Somerset farm in the early-1960s. Rural Somerset was nothing if not conservative and there would not have been much demand for wigs, particularly wigs that did not conform with traditional ideas of style and elegance. Spiky, blond hair was not something that might have been encountered in the Langport era in 1963.

The photograph has been in circulation among members of our family for the past sixty years. For more than five decades, the boy pictured was told that the wig had belonged to an aunt who lived on the home farm.

In a county where the arrival of the hippies in the late 1960s had brought an awareness that life could be lived in many and diverse ways and that a blond wig was quite conventional when compared with the garb and hairstyles preferred by the new arrivals in our county. It seemed odd that my aunt, who worked for Clark’s Shoes would have identified with the hippies, but the photograph seemed proof of hidden radical inclinations.

Of course, 1963 was too early for the hippies to have been on the English scene, and who had suggested the wig had anything to do them? A boy had made an assumption on the basis of what he saw around him at the time he was asking questions.

One morning, a few years ago, I sat drinking tea with my aunt who was said to have been owner of the wig. ‘There is a photo of me, I wearing a spiky blond wig: was that yours?’

‘It was, it was part of the costume for the carnival club.’

More than fifty years of imagining her a secret radical had gone in a moment. The boy in the wig continues to live in the mind of the person he became.

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A special education teacher

I applied today for a job at a school where it would be a dream to teach.

To be applying for jobs at sixty-two years of age is a challenge. In my previous post, I was on a one year contract that was not renewed as falling rolls meant the number of teachers was reduced. In my present post, I am covering a maternity leave, which concludes in May. Finding a new post is essential to being able to pay the bills.

The post is that of ‘Special Education Teacher,’ it is to provide support for students with diverse special educational needs. The advertisement says that familiarity with the processes for obtaining concessions for students from the Department of Education would be an advantage, which would put me at a disadvantage.

Clicking ‘send,’ I wondered what pitch for the post I might make in the unlikely event of being called for interview.

Looking back forty years, I recall working in a special school where the boys were labelled as ‘educationally sub-normal’. I was never sure what ESN meant, there seemed a lot of people in history who would have had such a label applied to them if they had been living in the 1980s. Most of the boys were indistinguishable from other boys you would have met on the streets of any town. What was the rationale for sending them to a boarding school, albeit a school in a very pleasant corner of Surrey?

My role at the school was that of a houseparent. It was a role that I enjoyed. Sitting at the meal tables, sitting watching television, standing in the playing field, I enjoyed the company of the random assortment of characters for whom I cared.  It was work that taught me that there were intelligences that could not be measured by any testing.

Forty years later, the tests are still inadequate to the task of assessing the full potential of students. The least academically able among the students whom I now teach are often those who will offer perspectives that diverge from the norm, they are the students who will respond to existential questions with an unexpected profundity.

If there was a single concept that caught my attention during teacher training four years ago, it was that of ‘oracy,’ or ‘oral literacy.’ Most teenagers now have a level of oracy that far outstrips their written literacy. Teaching has become as much about conversation as writing.

‘Mr Poulton, how would you address the challenges of special education for students?’

‘I would talk to them.’

It is not an answer that would get me a job.

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Harvest past

He is thirty-two years dead tomorrow. Many memories linger, a quiet man, a gentle man, a stoic, a grandfather loved by us all. A picture of him from 1975 captures a sense of him.

Grandad stands on the left-hand side of the photograph below, a broad-shouldered man in flat cap, sleeveless pullover, white shirt, brown trousers and heavy black boots. The nine men with him include my two uncles.  It is threshing time and every available hand was needed.

He was a well-built man, so too were the machines with which he worked, except they had all seen better days. The machines were old, nursed along by affection and necessity. Sometimes things would slip, shear, break; running repairs were accepted as a normal part of the working day.

The gathering for the threshing was necessary because Grandad still used a reaper-binder. I remember one morning when he had had brought it to a field of barley, two or three men with him to assist with the harvest.

It was a labour intensive business, one man to drive the Fordson tractor, one man to operate the binder, one or two men to follow behind, picking up the sheaves and putting them into stooks. It was a day that could not be lost, for the other men had their own work to do.

Hardly had the day started when the binder stopped. The blades were not working, the barley was not being cut. Long years of experience of the machine meant Grandad straightaway knew the problem. As he corrected the fault, something slipped and he gashed his hand. A handkerchief was taken from his pocket to cover the wound, he tied it around with binder twine and the day’s work proceeded.

By the end of the day, no part of the handkerchief was left white. Returning to the farm at evening time, my father was waiting to collect me. Seeing my grandfather’s hand, he suggested a visit to the local doctor’s surgery, where emergency attention for local farmers was part of the everyday activity. The cut required fourteen stitches to close it. It was a matter of fact, not something for comment: we did not mention it.

Grandad was one of those few farmers who actually retired, though his death at the age of seventy-seven meant there were not many years away from the hard daily labours of the land. In the photograph, he would have been sixty-one years old, as solidly built as the machines which still appear at the vintage shows.

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Gym shoes

The girl was wearing a pair of classic black and white basketball boots. The wearing of such incurred the displeasure of the deputy principal and she was required to phone home from the school office and ask that her mother bring to the school a pair of shoes approved for use with the school uniform.

Reflecting on memories of fifty years ago, I thought I should have liked such a pair of basketball boots. Perhaps they would not have evoked such painful recollections as the black plimsolls that I had.

There were people in the school who had lace-up versions of such shoes, but for most of us the elasticated version was used for those activities which filled me with a sense of dread and foreboding. Black fabric and rubber soles, they provided little support for the feet of someone who always walked awkwardly.

Our plimsolls were worn for physical activities, gymnastics, basketball, running; things that were approached with delight by some people, but not those of us who had no aptitude for anything that demanded speed or agility.

The problem with plimsolls was that it was not even possible to drag out the time putting them on, to pull on each took no more than a couple of seconds, and then we were expected to gather around the teacher to listen with enthusiasm to the instructions that the teacher would give.

The capacity of a pair of canvas shoes to cause a feeling of unease, fifty after such footwear was last worn, suggests that physical education really did instill a feeling of fear into the hearts of many of us.

The worst part of PE was rarely the game itself. There was nothing inherently wrong with basketball in the school gym, or athletics on the field, or our attempts at gymnastic manouvres, the pain came with the attitude of the teachers. Those of us not good at the prescribed activities were subject to belittling and sometimes even insults.

The worst treatment ever (albeit we were wearing football boots that day) came from a teacher who decided to try to teach first form boys the rudiments of rugby, despite the fact that we did not attend a rugby-playing school. One boy displayed a lack of skill in his attempt at kicking a rugby ball, something he had probably never done before in his life, when the teacher ran up from behind the boy and kicked him in the buttocks with such force that the boy was sent stumbling forward.

When those charged with caring for the health of the nation complain about the high incidence of obesity among middle aged Englishmen, they might ask themselves why there is an aversion to physical activity.

If a pair of plimsolls can bring painful memories from the early-1970s for me, then how many more people had similar experiences?

 

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